TEXT CAFEARTICLE DISTRIBUTION AND SYNDICATION

So you did it again, right? In front of all your friends, with a glass of cheap champagne in both hands, you shouted at a New Year’s Eve party: “This is the year, friends! This is the year I will GET! IN! SHAPE!” And then you chugged both glasses of bubbly and made out with the ear of a girl you barely know. At least you think it was a girl. Your friends weren’t sure when they picked fruita planta you up from jail. Boy did you guys laugh about it over a stack of pancakes at IHOP! Now pass the pecan syrup, fatty. We all know that diets are a joke, but some experts insist that by keeping a food diary we can monitor our caloric intake so we’ll know how much we need to burn while working out. And if the gym isn’t your thing, just do what I do – pick the exercise bike behind the girl with the nicest butt.

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